Metzler

We all love romance, And sex. And yet, these things can become so complicated and entangled that we end up hating ourselves for wanting them so much. Everybody has felt totally overwhelmed by romantic relationships at some points in their lives, starting with the first high school crush. But to my mind, the feeling of being lost in a world of mismatched traffic signs is even more difficult when you are gay. There is simply no reliable roadmap to follow.

First of all, what are our roles? Straight people know what the rules are, how the role playing is supposed to work out. Just watch all the dating games on TV and you will see how finely tuned males and females are to the code words and body language of their culture. The people on those shows have been chosen precisely because they have internalized all of the most banal and stereotypical behaviors and have raised them to a fine art. Now what about gay men and lesbians? Have we ever really figured out what our codes and body language mean? In the world that we have created, based on otherness in a straight culture, much of the allure of a relationship is the ambiguity. I think we avoid any clear explanations because we are afraid that all the magic will simply vanish in the light. We have gotten used to feeling our way in the dark. The gay dating shows I have seen on TV have been failures precisely because of everyones reluctance or inability to communicate what the real attractions were.

Its not that we gay people dont also have our stereotypes raised to a fine art. No way, in fact, we invented that camp game! We create our types by twisting and reworking the raw material that straight people have left us. Shes a gigolo, a female friend says, for instance, describing an ex-girlfriend, like one of those guys in a movie from the 1960s with a girl in every bar. She uses a male reference without the slightest hesitation. But is the woman in question really like one of those guys? I dont think its so simple. Gay people may take on the characteristics of the opposite sex in their romantic relationships, but we pick and choose, mix and match according to some complicated plan even we cannot fully explain.

Shes not really a gigolo, because she is still a woman, and that means she has learned to use certain behaviors to get what she wants in life that are different from the behaviors that men use. She has seen life from a womans perspective, she has learned how to handle the restrictions and exploit the privileges that are a womans lot, no matter what her sexual orientation. She is not a gigolo, and yet it is somehow stimulating, and sexy for other women to see her that way. Its a deception that makes sense to these other women because subconsciously they are also aware of the feminine side of that person and how that side informs her gigolo-ness.

The same can be said for gay men. There are no real queens among men, though there may be legions of people with penises who think that they are Paris Hilton or Ivana Trump. They can never understand what a womans world looks like when you have been female since the day you were born, and they would never renounce the privileges of masculinity that they have enjoyed all their lives. It is precisely those male privileges that empower them to break the gender rules and play the lah de dah femme fatale game.

So what good are these stereotypes, then? Can they help us find ourselves, the way that Tiffany-and-Brad on the Dating Game can help straight teenagers learn the ropes? The great majority of gay people, I believe, strive for some kind of harmony in their personal lives that manages to see with both male and female vision in a rich and rewarding way. The problem is, we dont know how to interpret what we are seeing. It is hard enough for people with the monovision of one sex, but for us it is doubly confusing. Who can guide us? Ironically, we need these people at the extremes, we need them to search out the far frontiers of gender bending and to report back what they find. Otherwise, those of us in the middle will have to muddle along forever, blindly mixing our own instincts with the dubious words of wisdom of Tiffany and Brad. Not a pleasant thought.

Dominic Ambrose is a writer and script developer for an independent film company in Paris. Take a look at his writings on http://www.dominicambrose.com and his new entertainment blog at http://www.dominicambrose.com/blog/

Roses seem to grow and produce flowers for only a few years before becoming exhausted and starting to develop flowers down the lower part of the stem.Pruning is therefore needed to prevent the plant becoming a tangled mass of dying and living wood with inferior blooms.

Rambling Roses

Rambling roses have diminished in popularity over the years.They bloom only once a year albeit with a spectacular show of flowers but are not generally disease resistant and do need regular pruning.

Flowers grow on new wood so you will need to prune each year for a good show of flowers all over the plant.However rambling roses are a good choice in some areas, where their natural talents can be exploited.Rambling roses flexible stems will clamber enhusiastically up dead trees that would otherwise be an eyesore, or scramble riotously along the soil to produce unusual ground cover.

Climbing Roses

Climbing roses have much less flexible stems than rambling roses, many are more disease resistant and some are repeat flowering.Since flowers develop on a framework of established wood,pruning climbing roses is a much less demanding than pruning rambling roses.Essential pruning is restricted to removing dead weak or diseased growth.

Deadhead as much as is practical during the summer and prune in the autumn after flowering.If you also shorten the side shoots that have flowered taking them back to three buds.You will encourage a good coverage of flowers next year.

Regenerating Old Climbing Rose

If a climbing rose has been neglected and lateral growth not encouraged by regular training and tying in, there may be many bare stems visible near ground level.You can encourage new basal shoots to develop by cutting down some of the old bare stems almost to ground level.

Hybrid tea and Floribunda Roses

Hybrid tea and floribunda roses are popular garden choices and have broadly similar pruning needs.Hybrid teas have been used for around 100 years their flowers have what is often seen as a classic rose shape.Hybrid teas are available in an amazing range of colours and are often well fragranced.

However there are some drawbacks with some varieties many hybrid tea bushes are quite ridged in shape, producing quite a stiff appearance that does not suit all gardens.Hybrid teas generally bloom less frequently than floribundas and are more susceptible to rain damage and not tolerant to less than perfect conditions.

Floribunda roses have been popular for around the last 50 years.Although the individual blooms may not be as first choice compared to the hybrid teas floribundas are chosen for there ability to flower continuously for long periods of time.Their increased disease resistance their ability to thrive in less than perfect conditions and for their rain tolerance.

Prune hybrid tea and floribunda roses in early spring when growth is just begining but to avoid the possibility of damage by wind rock cut back long shoots in autumn.Cut stems back to approximately half there length and remove damaged weak or diseased stems.Floribundas hard prune some old stems close to the ground to encourage new basal growth, while pruning last years new shoots only moderately.This variable pruning will encourage a good coverage of flowers over the whole plant.

Want to know more about rambling roses or other roses such as hybrid teas (Ingrid Bergman Rose) or floribunda (Day Breaker Rose)Then come and visit http://www.mygardencenteronline.com and checkout the rose department.While your there have a look around maybe your interested in Bonsai or fruit trees.

If you are looking for safer online shopping you may want to consider a virtual credit card. It takes away a lot of the risk of personal information and credit card numbers falling into the hands of thieves.

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There's no value to hackers because you use a different, random card number every time you shop online. A virtual credit card number is only good on the Web site where you made your purchase.

With identity theft and email phising scams rising at an alarming level it's a good way to keep your sensitive information private. Even if a scammer does somehow acquire your virtual credit card number, the disposable credit card number expires quickly so it's not an ideal target for them.

The major credit card companies all offer prepaid virtual credit cards and the amount is limited to how much you apply to the card. You are protected just like a regular credit card if they are lost or stolen.

MasterCard calls them MasterCard gift cards and Visa calls them virtual Visa gift cards. You can use them anywhere MasterCard and Visa are accepted.

There are some instances when paying with a virtual credit card won't work. You can't pick up theater tickets; confirm airline, hotel or rental car reservations with a virtual credit card. These credit card numbers don't exist off the Web so they don't work for these things.

But if you are using the disposable credit card numbers for buying products online the security benefits are well worth it. If you are looking for safer online shopping consider a virtual credit card.

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